As much as I love being in love I loathe not being productive while in love. No matter how good it feels when in love, nothing compares to the feeling of accomplishment and achievement. The feeling of completing a hard-won task or project is both exhilarating and invigorating. It motivates me to push harder and reminds me that the sky is never my limit.
Though I desire to be married and start a family, I never want to lose my passion and drive.
Regardless of where I am and who I’m with, this passion and drive are extremely important to me. I believe both are key to becoming the woman God wants me to be; and because I value that woman, I don’t want to make decisions that could potentially jeopardize the things I’ve set out to accomplish. Rushing into a premature relationship is a decision that could impact my future, and for this reason, though I deeply desire to marry and start a family, I’ll wait.
On the outside, while being single and 34-years old can be a little nerve-wrecking, I don’t want to be in such a rush for a husband that I miss or overlook the things God wants to do in and through me as a single woman. I prefer to take my time. I want God to use my time as a single woman to perfect me from the inside out and I want to be patient throughout the process. When God reveals my spouse to me and vice versa, I want our love to be a sweet, adventurous and ever-increasing love that develops slowly like a finely-crafted jewel.
While there are no guarantees in love, I want to take all of the necessary steps to ensure we are equipped to love and commit to one another for a lifetime.
I want the opportunity to pray for and over my boyfriend before I commit to lifelong vows as his spouse.
I want the opportunity to build a foundation of friendship before I fall head over heels in love.
I want the honor of being his friend before I know the responsibility of being his wife.
I want the opportunity to let the Holy Spirit teach me vulnerability before my flesh crashes into his on our honeymoon.
On the movie screen, Hollywood tricks us into thinking that love is a magical connection that solves all of our problems and makes us complete but I believe God has a much bigger plan in store.
Over the past few weeks, my intimate time with God has increased and I’ve found myself in constant deep reflection and thought. Throughout those moments, I’ve had the opportunity to sit and take my time with him while allowing him to do the same with my heart. His work in me has allowed me to value the beauty in taking things slow and has challenged me to trust Him with my plans. As I allow myself to be shaped and molded by God, I am able to see that better is in store for me when I trust him with the desires of my heart.
Declaration: Though I desire to be married now, I’ll wait to receive greater in the future. Though I think I know what I want, I’ll wait for what God wants. Though I want to be someone’s wife, I’ll wait for God to perfect His work in me and I’ll pursue my dreams.
Today, I choose to wait because I believe my love and legacy are worth the wait.