An Ode to the Guys of My Past


So with Valentine’s Day only days away, it’s only right that I share a post from the heart!  However, the crazy thing about today’s post is that it was totally unplanned! Today’s post actually began as a few scribbles and reflections in my journal about my dating and relationship experiences while on a plane a few weeks ago.  I had no idea that it would turn into some sort of ode, if you will, but it did and I love it!

Therefore, as we tip-toe on the heels of Valentine’s Day 2016 this is a final farewell to the relationships, situationships and frogs of my past:

Photo Credit: Lee Jun Ho Nabanano Sato

Photo Credit: Lee Jun Ho Nabanano Sato

“Ode to the Guys of My Past”…

It took so long to become the woman I am today.  So many tears were shed; so many promises were broken; and so many hopes were never realized.

There were times when the only thing I craved, was for our relationship to mean as much to you, as it did to me.

I wanted the desires in my journals to become months of wedding planning.

I wanted the daydreams in my head to become a reality.

I wanted my girlish talk amongst friends to parlay into double dates at holiday parties and birthday celebrations.


We never seemed to achieve harmony.

Any time I thought we were close to reaching common ground, a broken promise cracked the foundation of the place I hoped to make a home.

I wanted love, so I searched for it in your words.

I wanted trust, so I stuck around when I should have left.

I wanted companionship, so I settled for less than I was worth.

Not once did I consider that I was worth it.

I was worth the sacrifices that I made with my time, my emotions and with my fears.

I was worth the promises that you weren’t ready to keep.

I was worth the patience to wait before sharing my heart and my body.

I couldn’t see it then but I see all of it, so very clearly now.

God became the mirror to my reflection.

He transformed my tears into showers of blessings; my darkness into days of joy.

He created beauty from my pain and a testimony from my heartbreak.

When I looked in the mirror back then, I saw a girl who couldn’t keep a relationship to save her life; but when I look in the mirror today, I see a God smiling back who tells me that I am perfect and complete.

Today, I am stronger, wiser and braver than ever before.

I know who I am.

I know what I want.

I know what I deserve.

So guys, if you ever come back to look for that girl, you will not find her.

You’ll never ever find a girl like that in me again because I’ll never settle for one of you again.

To the Guys of My Past: Please allow me to reintroduce myself…my name is Confidence and I am fully aware of my worth.


Happy Valentine’s Day Ladies! 




  • Courtney White
    February 11, 2016

    Beautiful! Your Godly confidence is shining through!

    • ErikaTheEncourager
      February 11, 2016

      Aww, thanks friend!!! It’s been a long journey as you know! Thanks for walking beside me throughout it!

  • ArtsyBell83
    February 11, 2016

    It comes down to knowing who we are in Christ and realizing we cant compromise our relationship with him for halfway living. Thanks for sharing!!!!!!

    • ErikaTheEncourager
      February 11, 2016

      You got that right sis!!!

Drop me a line!


Get every new post delivered to your Inbox

Join other followers:

%d bloggers like this: