So with Valentine’s Day only days away, it’s only right that I share a post from the heart! However, the crazy thing about today’s post is that it was totally unplanned! Today’s post actually began as a few scribbles and reflections in my journal about my dating and relationship experiences while on a plane a few weeks ago. I had no idea that it would turn into some sort of ode, if you will, but it did and I love it!
Therefore, as we tip-toe on the heels of Valentine’s Day 2016 this is a final farewell to the relationships, situationships and frogs of my past:
“Ode to the Guys of My Past”…
It took so long to become the woman I am today. So many tears were shed; so many promises were broken; and so many hopes were never realized.
There were times when the only thing I craved, was for our relationship to mean as much to you, as it did to me.
I wanted the desires in my journals to become months of wedding planning.
I wanted the daydreams in my head to become a reality.
I wanted my girlish talk amongst friends to parlay into double dates at holiday parties and birthday celebrations.
We never seemed to achieve harmony.
Any time I thought we were close to reaching common ground, a broken promise cracked the foundation of the place I hoped to make a home.
I wanted love, so I searched for it in your words.
I wanted trust, so I stuck around when I should have left.
I wanted companionship, so I settled for less than I was worth.
Not once did I consider that I was worth it.
I was worth the sacrifices that I made with my time, my emotions and with my fears.
I was worth the promises that you weren’t ready to keep.
I was worth the patience to wait before sharing my heart and my body.
I couldn’t see it then but I see all of it, so very clearly now.
God became the mirror to my reflection.
He transformed my tears into showers of blessings; my darkness into days of joy.
He created beauty from my pain and a testimony from my heartbreak.
When I looked in the mirror back then, I saw a girl who couldn’t keep a relationship to save her life; but when I look in the mirror today, I see a God smiling back who tells me that I am perfect and complete.
Today, I am stronger, wiser and braver than ever before.
I know who I am.
I know what I want.
I know what I deserve.
So guys, if you ever come back to look for that girl, you will not find her.
You’ll never ever find a girl like that in me again because I’ll never settle for one of you again.
To the Guys of My Past: Please allow me to reintroduce myself…my name is Confidence and I am fully aware of my worth.
Happy Valentine’s Day Ladies!