I’m not gonna lie…when I daydream about my future husband we’re almost always in some romantic location, gazing into each other’s eyes and I’m there just basking in the fact that he chose me to be his wife. My heart is skipping beats and my stomach is a garden of butterflies.
My mind and my heart usually run away to my little mental wonderland around Christmas and the Fourth of July. Those are my favorite holidays and I’ve daydreamed about spending them with the love of my life for years. I’ve longed to watch fireworks explode over a beautiful waterfront with my hubby while the smells of Summer barbeque and sweet scents of grass whistle under my nose.
While I can’t recall exactly when my mind began to develop such whimsical mental play spaces, I remember where I was when it happened. I was about 6 or 7 years old and I had just finished watching Snow White at a matinee with my dad. As I sat in those large red theater seats that seemed to swallow my little legs, I remember swinging them in anticipation as I waited to see if the prince would save Snow White, and choose her to be his beloved princess for the rest of his life.
That was the day Disney convinced my young mind that I needed to be chosen when I grew up. From that day forward, I was convinced that one of the best days of my life as a girl would be the day a guy noticed me and fell in love with me.
What I did not know then, that I know now is, though it is indeed wonderful to be pursued and adored by someone, that in itself is not the prize. The prize is actually in me. Rather than spending my girlish years of flair waiting to be chosen, I should actually be doing a little choosing of my own. However, I didn’t always do that because like I said…I just didn’t know.
In the past, I’d meet a guy, fall head over heels, and go on autopilot until the relationship crashed, died, or burned. I’d do dumb things like accept lame excuses for not getting a call back at night and I’d believe sorry explanations like “oh her?…that’s just a girl I know” (really?…no kidding Sherlock).
Back then, I really accepted and tolerated some crazy things.
The thing Disney never shared and the thing I never knew, was the real-life story of the daughter and princess who knew her worth. The stories of women like Ruth and Esther. Unlike Disney fairytales, a true princess doesn’t go around town kissing frogs in hopes of turning one of them into the prince that he’s not ready to become. No, she lives out her purpose like Ruth and waits to hear from God.
She’s not living her single life twiddling her thumbs idly while waiting to be chosen. You see, in addition to meeting a handsome, powerful, fun-loving prince, the princess knows herself well enough to understand that this man is getting the opportunity of a lifetime. She understands that she brings much more to the table than just her beauty because she is the daughter of the King, and he is about to marry royalty. Her crown is heavy from the great value she possesses and it is adorned with jewels of grace, love, justice, and mercy.
She knows that she has been hand-picked so she won’t dare allow others to pick and choose parts of her.
If you want to be with her, she demands that you be prepared to pay the full price to have her heart.
I don’t know about you but Disney didn’t tell me these things. I discovered them through my relationship with Jesus.
The world and Hollywood would have us to believe that being chosen is about the man of our dreams rescuing us from every fallen and broken relationship of our past. But God wants us to know that we’re more than that (See Proverbs 31:10-31).
Being chosen isn’t just about a man’s yes to you.
It’s also being able to know with confidence, that this is the man you prayed for, on your knees before the throne of God.
It’s being confident that you waited patiently until you received God’s yes, so that you could give your yes to that man.
Your yes, is the yes that Disney and other Hollywood fairy tales will probably never tell you about but, it’s the one that every single woman should discover before she ever decides to date. It’s the yes that says:
Yes, I’m beautiful
Yes, I’m powerful
Yes, I’m strong
Yes, I’m confident
Yes, I’m worthy
Yes, I’m enough
Yes, I’m above average
Yes, I’m a daughter of the King
Second to your salvation, that yes, is the best yes you could ever give to your husband on your wedding day. That kind of yes, knows the value of the weight it carries. That kind of yes, has carefully considered the heart of the person seeking access to her heart. That kind of yes, has paid meticulous detail to the life that man leads. That kind of yes, is ready to say yes to his leadership and his character. That kind of yes, knows to respond with “no” if the man who’s asking isn’t ready. Being chosen isn’t just about a man’s yes to you. It’s also about your yes.
Know who you are. Know your value. Know the value of your yes.
I’ll forever look forward to exciting holidays with my future husband but these days, I find myself a bit more in love with the confidence associated with my yes, and a lot less dreamy about Disney’s fairytale.
Sorry Hollywood and Disney, I think I’ll take my yes over your fairytale.