One of the many questions I often get about dating and marriage from others is “how do you know when it’s real?”
Well, I’ll know it’s real when my passion for Jesus prompts his heart to thank God for me instead of turning him off.
Not everyone is okay with me being crazy about Jesus and that’s okay with me. I understand that everyone isn’t meant to be part of my destiny so everyone isn’t going to be a match for the desires of my heart. I understand that me destiny was custom made for me and that my blessings were tailor made for my hands. Therefore, only a special kind of person can walk beside me as I complete the race that God has set before me.
You see, my love is a blessing and the opportunity to be the object of my love is an even larger blessing. In fact, anyone I decide to love becomes blessed just by receiving it. So, I wouldn’t dare water down my love for Jesus just to make a man feel comfortable or excited about being with me.
As young men and women of God, I believe it’s important to identify our values before playing with the idea of dating and courting because if not, it leaves us in a position to settle or compromise on the things that matter most. Furthermore, we’ve got to know what’s important to us, and be able to identify what cannot be negotiated in order to articulate it to those who desire to be with us.
We’ve got to know our deal-breakers to avoid a broken heart. We’ve got to know our non-negotiables in order to preserve and protect our purity. And we’ve got to know who we are and what we stand for in order to guard our hearts.
I hear so many people ask “how will you know when it’s real?” and the answer is simple. For me, Jesus is my “Real-O-Meter.” He’s the litmus test for my love and my hand in marriage. If you can’t handle Him, darling you can’t have or handle me. It’s a packaged deal and my love does not come separately.
God is a significant part of my life and it makes me happy to strike up random conversations about him with others! When that happens, I know that I’ll need to be with someone who’s comfortable with those kind of conversations. I know that I’ll need to be with someone who won’t feel like hiding when the name of Jesus is spoken in public. When a guy is cool with that, I’ll know that he just might be the one and if he joins in on the discussion with me…oh my Jesus!…you guys should probably expect wedding invites soon thereafter because my Real-O-Meter will have sprung to the top!
Knowing what’s important and necessary for your heart is essential before dating and courting. It makes the process run a lot smoother and saves you time and energy. Be kind to your heart. Get to know what makes your heart skip a beat before skipping down the aisle.
Take time to discover how you’ll know when it’s real for you…