The relationship between a jeweler and his gems, and dating relationships are very similar to me. To me, a man is like a jeweler and I believe the right one, is able to recognize the jewel that you are well before he approaches you to pursue a serious, committed relationship.
Whether a gem is on display at a trade show or situated behind a glass case in a jewelry store, a jeweler is aware of its value well before he arrives. The mere fact that the gem can only be viewed within the confines of a secure and rare environment lets him know that the gem is well worth the trip. Similarly, I believe a man is able to decipher a woman’s value by the company she keeps, the way she lives, and by her character. Similar to a jeweler a man knows that a woman is worth his time well before marriage, a proposal, and even before a first date in many cases.
However, I do not believe that we as women are always aware of our value. I believe that we tend to forget that we were purchased at a high price by God’s sacrifice of His son (Jn. 3:16); and it is seen in our choices to settle, compromise and even accept less than acceptable behavior. For example, we may accept lies for the sake of having a relationship. We may compromise to be accepted and loved. Or, even settle just to belong to someone.
The broken relationships of our past and the shattered pieces of our heart distort our view of ourselves and we begin to dull our hue in fear of being alone. Rather than behaving like a gem that sits strong, confident and secure and shines brightly, we begin to mold, bend and form to the likes of whatever window-shopper (man) gives us a glance. We forget that we are gems and therefore, we never have to love or operate in fear. We do not need to compromise or lower our value to prove that we are worthy.
You see… gems and jewels are the most beautiful rocks ever created. They are revered across nations, nationalities and cultures and classes. They are perfect in form and design. They have a unique composition and hue that immediately catches the eye of a passerby.
Often times, we enter relationships with thoughts and concerns if the guy will finally be the one to see a diamond when he looks at us. We wonder if he will be the one to recognize what every other guy missed. We wonder if he will value us enough to pay the price for our love and parlay his commitment into a covenant of marriage. I know this to be true because I’ve often shared the same thoughts in the past. However, we are gems that were fearfully and wonderfully made(Ps.139:14).
Today, I see exactly what God sees when He created me—a gem that is far above rubies and a gem destined to shine. Do you believe that a man recognizes the jewel that you are? Do you believe that God has created a husband for you who is ready and willing to pay the cost of your love? Discussions like this often hold more weight when a man is able to share his point of view, so I’ve included a few male perspectives for today’s post.
A few weeks ago, I decided to poll some of my newly engaged male friends and a couple of guys with a few years of marriage under their belt about their thoughts prior to proposing. Specifically, I wanted to know if they had any doubts prior to proposing or any fears that their fiancé would reject their proposal. In my mind, I assumed that the guys would respond with a resounding YES to both questions but to my surprise I was wrong. Because marriage is such a significant leap, it seemed only natural that the guys would have some doubts or fears prior to proposing but not one guy shared feelings of doubt or fear.
To the contrary, each guy shared that they never feared rejection or had doubts because of the following:
1-They had prayed about their decision
2-They had discussed marriage with their fiancé prior to their proposal
3-They discussed their decision with wise counsel (family or friends); and
4-They had confidence that marriage was the best step for their relationship.
When I read each of their responses, I couldn’t help but think about the relationship between a jeweler and his gems.
Like a jeweler, each man knew exactly what he wanted to buy prior to consummating the purchase. He had taken the time to weigh the costs of the purchase and had decided that it was worth the value of his time and resources. He knew that he had found a good thing.
As a single woman, the ups and downs of singlehood may tempt us to question our value and worth. Am I too independent? Am I pretty enough? Am I too small or too big? Am I too churchy? (Girl, chill out…you’re tha bomb!) We allow the men who have window-shopped pieces of our heart to affect our identity and to discourage our hopes for marriage. However, today I want to encourage you by reminding you that you are precious. You are a jewel and your heart possesses a valuable treasure that God will one day allow to be claimed by the right man.
Like a jeweler, a man who is serious about you will not hesitate to pursue you with the intent of marriage. He will not play reindeer games with your heart and he will not seek to earn your love on discount. You will not need to compromise your heart. You will not need to settle and you most certainly will not need to question your value. The responses of the men who were surveyed clearly illustrate that when a man knows what he has found, he does not fear the responsibility of caring for his treasure and does not doubt that it is real.
You are a jewel whose heart is full of one of the most beautiful treasures ever designed or created. Your value is priceless. Your hue remains brilliant despite the many dings, dents and cracks that your heart has endured. Like a gem under the care of its keeper, sit confident and rest assured that you are God’s most precious creation. You are valuable. You are wanted. You are worthy. You are beautiful.
Today, be encouraged to simply remain securely fastened next to our father until He gives the keys of your heart to the right man. Be patient with love. Be cautious with your heart. Be assured that you are fearfully and wonderfully made. Shine!
A jeweler won’t ever sell a diamond below value, and your father will never release the key to your heart, to a man who is not ready to care for and handle the treasure that you are.