Have you ever been in a relationship that seemed to come to a sudden or unexpected end? I have, and perhaps like you, I too, was left wondering why God removed the person.
Several months ago, I kept having dreams about a person that God removed from my life. This one particular week, the person appeared in several of my dreams each night for about three nights in a row. Each morning after the dream, I woke up thinking “what in the world is going on?” On the final night of the dream, I finally figured out God’s purpose for the dreams and wrote this post to myself. As you read it, I hope it helps you to find peace in saying good-bye to the people that God has removed from your life. When you find peace God will be able to make room in your heart for a blessing that’s greater than anything you could ever imagine. (Ephesians 3:20).
*Note* The tone of this post begins as a reflective piece because I truly wrote it to myself at about 4am a few months ago, so please don’t be thrown off by the shift in the tone in which it’s written. =)
These dreams have been odd but God has used them to remind me and show me that things were not meant to be with Jim (just gonna call him “Jim” for today). Things were not meant to be because of the type of relationship we were in. That kind of relationship was not God’s best nor did Jim give me his best. God wants me to be with someone who gives me his best. He wants me to be with someone who is so in love with Jesus, that he wants to love me the way that Jesus loves him. For so long, I wondered if some part of me was the reason the relationship failed. I questioned my beauty and at times, even wondered if I was enough. However, thanks to these past few nights God has shown me that those thoughts are so far from the truth.
When relationships don’t work out it’s rarely because of who the person is…it’s deeper than that. We are spirit beings that God has created in different shapes, colors, hues and sizes, and we’re wrapped up in a temporary place called a body. The thing is, everyone’s inner-man (spirit) doesn’t look the same. Some of us are as beautiful as a sunset on the inside, and others are as jagged as broken glass. Therefore, when those relationships come to an unexpected, abrupt-end, it’s usually because what’s inside the person is not developed enough to produce a good and finished product. For example, the person may have yet to fully open up his or her heart to God so that God can transform them. So as result, during the relationship, you may deal with issues such as infidelity, dishonesty, aggression, and misdirected anger—things that are results of a hardened heart.
Like a cake that has not finished baking, God sees those areas that are undeveloped in the person and removes him or her before you indulge in an under-baked cake (bad relationship). The same way that it’s impossible to eat and enjoy a cake that is not fully baked, is the same way that it’s impossible to enjoy and prosper in a relationship with a person who has undeveloped or underdeveloped character.
God wants you to fully enjoy the benefits of being in a healthy relationship. He wants you to be with someone who loves you as much as Christ loves us so, that he can commit to you. He wants you to be with someone who loves you enough to transform commitment into a covenant called marriage.
When God removes a man or woman from your life, or when God ends a relationship, understand that it’s because of what’s inside the person. Try your best not to grow bitter or angry with the person. Instead pray for them, because that’s really what they need more than anything else. Pray for them to let God into the hardened areas of their heart. Pray for the love of Christ to enter into their heart so that He can transform them, and so that He can make them better than they’ve ever been before.
Sometimes God pulls others away from us so that they can get closer to Him. Always pray for your enemies and for those who hurt you whenever they cross your mind (something I began to do after reading “You Were Made For More” by Lisa Osteen Comes). They need the prayer more than you and I will ever know.
I originally wrote this post for myself and to myself. I had no plans on ever sharing it but I had to ask myself “what good is God’s power when it’s hidden in a journal?” This post is for anyone struggling to understand the loss of a relationship or the loss of a desired love. I never imagined that God would take the time to visit me in my sleep just to speak to my broken heart, but He did. Not only did He make time to come see about me, He also made time to heal me. The same way that God visited me, is the same way that He too, can visit you. The invitation starts with you. Ask God to come into your heart and take over it like never before. Tell Him about your fears, your doubts and your broken places. You’ll be amazed at the response that you receive from Him. God bless you and may He bring you more joy and peace than you ever imagined was possible.
Scripture About Interpreting Dreams: One of my favorite bible stories is when Daniel interprets King Nebuchadnezzar’s dream. See Daniel 2. If God could give Daniel the ability to interpret dreams surely, He can do the same for you.