9 Benefits of Dating in Groups
If there’s one thing I’ve learned throughout my journey as a single, it’s the value of including others in your relationship. Not to the point where it becomes destructive to your relationship but rather, enough to help keep you balance in your relationship with your mate, and to help you all develop a sense of accountability as you become more serious about one another. It’s not always easy to open up and allow others access to your relationship, but that extra insight becomes invaluable as you begin to consider a future with someone.
If you’ve never involved others in your relationship (i.e. double-dates, couples’ excursions) I strongly encourage you to do it and here are 9 reasons why:
- Your friends can observe your mate and share feedback on any red flags. How many times have we ended a relationship and heard a friend say “I knew it wasn’t gonna last because she is crazy”? When you do things with other couples and groups, it gives them an opportunity to spot the crazy & tell you quickly.
- Keeps you and your mate accountable to the boundaries you’ve set for yourself and for the relationship. “Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10). It’s awesome for you and your mate to promise to refrain from sex or promise not to cheat, but let’s be real…there are temptations to turn lights down low on Friday nights and get cozy with one another. No matter how many promises you and your mate make to each other, they are pointless if no one else knows about them, and it becomes easier not to keep them. Similarly, if your relationship is a secret and no one but you knows about your boyfriend or girlfriend, there’s no one to keep you accountable if or when tempted to cheat one night (especially, when that ex-boo contacts you out of the blue!). Dating in groups keeps us accountable to the things we’ve vowed to do right.
- Provides an additional source of encouragement and support when your relationships hits a rough patch. How many times have you gotten into a huge disagreement with your boyfriend or girlfriend and wished you had someone to help your process things? It’s a lonely feeling to be in a relationship with no one else to talk to but your mate. Dating in groups gives you a listening ear and a fresh perspective during the rough times. **BONUS**: And, if they’re real friends, they’ll be willing to tell you if you’re in the wrong.
- Adds another dimension of excitement & fun. I don’t care how fine or beautiful your boyfriend or girlfriend is…eventually, you’ll want to do something besides look at their beautiful and handsome face. Dating in groups breaks up the monotony and adds some fun into your life.
- Keeps you from becoming dependent upon your mate for everything. Has one of your friends ever left you alone with their boyfriend or girlfriend for a few minutes, but it felt like an eternity because they were so BORING or quiet? OMG! Longest moment of life! Lol! When you only do things with your mate, you lose your sense of independence and you become needy. You also lose your sense of coolness (if you ever had any in the first place). When you surround yourself with others, it provides you with a support system outside of your mate so you all don’t strain the relationship. Thus, helping you to maintain a sense of independence.
- Helps to build trust in your relationship. The more you do with others, the closer you will become with those people. The process of getting to know others will teach you how to let down your guard and be transparent in your relationship with your mate.
- Teaches you and your mate how to do things differently. For example, maybe you and your mate are engaged and trying to plan a wedding and save money at the same time. Another couple may share the same experience and may be able to provide tips on how to help you all accomplish your goal. Or, they could simply offer suggestions on places to travel and sites to explore to keep your relationship fun & exciting.
- Allows you to get to know each other better. Let’s face it, there is always something new to learn about your boyfriend or girlfriend. Even married folks will say this after 20+ years of marriage! When you date in groups, it allows you to see the other side of your mate because they’re out of their normal/regular element (you). I’ll never forget what one wife said about her husband after observing him in a group setting “I never knew he was the life of the party.” They were out with a new group of friends and she began to see a fun & entertaining side of her husband that she had never seen before. When she asked her husband why he was never like that at home his response was “because you’re always in a bad mood.” Hearing his response became a wake-up call to check her attitude and it allowed him to release feelings that had been suppressed for quite some time. Today, that couple’s relationship is much stronger and they laugh more than ever!
- Helps you choose your wedding party & assures at least 1 guest for your funeral. If none of the above happen for you as a result of doing things with other couples, at least you’ll gain a few friends to be in your wedding or to help you plan your wedding. And if that doesn’t happen, you’ll have at least 1 person show-up at your funeral as long as you aren’t the crazy girl or guy from number one, listed above. Lol!
Dating is much more fun when you do it with others! May God bless and prosper your relationship (Ephesians 3:20).
Scripture: “Plans succeed through good counsel; don’t go to war without wise advice.” (Proverbs 20:18 NLT)