5 Reasons Why I’m Waiting
Something about weddings stirs up love in the air! It prompts people to ask you about your love life and it makes you wonder about your own. In the past two weeks, I’ve: been a bridesmaid in a friend’s wedding; had a close friend tie the knot; celebrated a friend’s engagement and I’ve been asked a ton of questions about my own wedding and plans for marriage.
“Are there men who will really wait for sex?” “Does it really make a difference in your relationship if you wait?” “Will a guy propose faster if you ask him to wait?” “If a guy really wants to be with you, it won’t matter if you have sex with him before you get married.” “What if you hold out and he leaves you?”
These are just a few of the comments and questions I’ve heard over the past few weeks. When it comes to singlehood, waiting for sex until marriage seems to be one of the greatest challenges for young adults. It seems as though everyone is doing it so we often decide to give in and do the same. However, once we cave-in we often regret that decision and struggle to forgive ourselves. I’m no expert but it seems that it would be much easier to live without the weight of regret and guilt by choosing to wait. Sure, the decision to wait is a bit tougher but I believe that it is certainly worth it. When it comes to sex before marriage, I’ve decided to wait and here’s why…
Why I’m Waiting
- Because my husband is worth it – “He who finds a wife finds a good thing” (Proverbs 18:22). The best gifts a woman can give her husband are honor and respect. Women want affection and attention but men crave honor and respect. I believe my husband will be a man of great character, and integrity and I pray those things over him on a regular basis. As he strives to be faithful to God and honor God, I want him to have a wife who does the same thing by honoring God with her body, heart and mind.
- Because I desire to set a godly example of purity for my children – Scripture says a good man [parent] leaves an inheritance for his children (Proverbs 13:22). An inheritance isn’t just financial or proprietary. It’s also spiritual. The decisions you make today will affect your children for generations to come. When my children are into their teenage years and begin to experience the pressure of premarital sex, I want them to have a legacy of purity to inspire and encourage them to wait for God’s timing. It’s never too late or early to establish a legacy of purity for our children, so I’ve decided to begin establishing my legacy today.
- Because I believe I’m worth the wait– What’s the difference between a diamond and a cubic zirconia (CZ)? Besides a huge difference in cost, a diamond requires sacrifice and an investment; and a CZ an be purchased at practically no cost with no sacrifice. To purchase a diamond you must save your money, cut back on leisure purchases and/or sacrifice your free time to pick-up a second job to earn extra money. However, you can go just about anywhere (i.e. local drugstore, Wal-Mart, Target, the beauty supply store) to purchase CZs because they are cheap and inexpensive. A diamond is an exclusive gem that can only be found in select stores because of its value and cost. Our purity is much like a diamond, and when you know the value of your purity, you treat it like a diamond instead of a CZ. A woman who knows she is a diamond will wait for a person who is ready to make an investment into her relationship. She will wait for a man who desires to date with the intent of marriage versus dating for convenience, fun or casual romance. She will wait for the man who sacrifices his pleasure in order to gain the Lord’s honor. For me, I know that I am a treasure to God therefore, I’m not only going to wait for my diamond but I’m also going to wait for the man who treats my purity as a diamond. I’m going to wait for the man who encourages me to stay pure, and I’m going to wait for the man who is striving to maintain his own purity.
- Because I don’t want to be a “bag lady” – A few years ago, Erykah Badu released a song called “Bag Lady.” It was a song about being mindful of all the emotional baggage that we carry into a relationships and admonishment to let go of it. When we develop a strong connection with someone it can be hard to go and heal once the relationship comes to an end. Add sex into the picture, and the emotional trauma multiplies! The best way to eliminate the trauma, drama and bags is to simply wait for sex until marriage. Wait for someone who vows to stick it out with you when your relationship hits a rough patch and does not opt to leave at the first sign of trouble. Wait for the man who shows his love with his actions, affection and patience instead of with his body. Wait for the man who wants to wait for you.
Trust me, it’s no easier for me to wait it out than it is for you but when you understand the value of what you’re waiting for, you’ll realize that both you and it, are truly worth the wait. Don’t be a bag lady. Give yourself an opportunity to fully get to know someone. Challenge yourself to become whole in God and encourage the man in your life to do the same.
- Because to get what you’ve never had you have to do what you’ve never done – I know what it’s like not to wait on God (i.e. I have many failed relationships as proof of my impatience) but I don’t know what it’s like to wait for Him. God’s Word promises many rewards for honoring Him and for being patient but we often never receive those rewards because we allow time and short-term gratification get the best of us. We especially do this when it comes to relationships with the opposite sex. Sure, there are many people in flourishing marriages where the couples did not wait for sex until marriage. Sure, there are men who were so in love with their girlfriends that they proposed even though they did not require the men to wait for sex. There are many “exceptions to the rule” and there will always be exceptions because of God’s grace and love for us. However, that’s not good enough for me. I don’t want to be the exception. I want to be the girl who believes and trusts in God with all of her heart enough to wait for the marriage of my dreams. In fact, I don’t even want the man of my dreams. I want the man of God’s dreams for me. I want the man who sees me as the gem God created me to be, and I want the man who handles my heart as the treasure it is…with careful watch and care.
I have decided that everything I desire is worth the weight of the wait of patience. It is worth the weight of the rock that will soon grace my hand. I’ve decided to not just believe that I’m worth the wait but to also live a life that reflects it. I’ve decided that I’m waiting…THE END.
Scripture: Patient endurance is what you need now, so that you will continue to do God’s will. Then you will receive all that he has promised. (Hebrews 10:36)
Prayer: Dear God, I pray for my sister who is reading this prayer. I pray that you remind her of her value in Christ, and reaffirm her faith in you. Surround her with men and women who encourage her to pursue you above all things. Give her strength to resist distractions. Give her wisdom to make sound decisions, and bless her with perseverance to wait for your plan. Release the burdens of shame and guilt from her heart and mind, and bless her with peace and joy as she waits on you. In the name of Jesus, Amen.