Delivery is Everything…Do It With Kindness

Delivery is Everything…Do It With Kindness


How many times have you been turned off or annoyed by the way someone spoke to you? I’m pretty sure we can count to 100 and beyond.

The way we speak to others means so much yet it’s an area we don’t devote much time to perfecting. We become skilled in an area and we feel that it qualifies us to be rude and demanding; or, we lose patience and become careless with our delivery. In the end, we often walk away feeling remorseful and very apologetic. Pheewwww, thank goodness for God’s grace. *wipes forehead*

A great scripture to keep in mind during times like this is found in Proverbs 31:26 “She gives instructions with kindness.”  Pretty simple, right? Yep, it is.  It simply says be kinds when giving instructions (leading, guiding, delegating) to others.   Wisdom and instruction are two of the most challenging things for people to accept. People are full of pride and don’t like to be wrong. They do not like to admit when they are not knowledgeable or familiar with something; therefore, we can make things so much easier for them when we simply speak with kindness.


God says that wisdom is rich and satisfying to the soul. In fact, scripture compares wisdom to honey and says those who find wisdom will have a bright future (Proverbs 24:13-14). Now let’s apply this to relationships…

How many times have you tried to get your boyfriend, spouse or fiancée to take your advice but it backfired because you said it with an attitude?  Not fun, right? Right! Applied to the context of relationships, God is saying “hey ladies watch your tongue because the way you speak can affect someone’s (your husband, fiancée, boyfriend) future.”  The way you deliver wisdom and instruction impacts a man’s future.  It affects the way he receives and processes the wisdom you desire to share.  Anything God gives to us is a gift therefore, if God gives you wisdom to share–share it as a gift.  Share it with kindness and love so that it will be sweet and satisfying to the soul.  When you deliver wisdom with kindness, it encourages a man to pursue his goals and dreams. But, when you give instruction and wisdom with an attitude it discourages him.

As women, our speech is one of the most powerful and effective tools we possess. God was purposeful with our design therefore let us always strive to be mindful of our design, and purposeful in our communication.

Prayer: Father, help me to control my speech. Remind me to communicate with kindness and to walk in love at all times. In the name of Jesus, Amen.

Scripture: But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things! (Galatians 5:22-23)

  • Courtney White
    May 14, 2014

    Beautiful Post. Our words and instruction carry power. And we always want to give instruction the way we want to receive it. I also love the scripture, Proverbs 15:1 A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. This verse suggests our responses can even change the atmosphere when someone responds negatively. So even when we have attempted to speak in kindness and we are met with anger we can still respond in love. Thank you for sharing this life changing and helpful word.

    • ErikaTheEncourager
      May 14, 2014

      Hey! I have that scripture set as a reminder in my phone that goes off daily! Great hearts think alike =) Thank you too for sharing your words of wisdom and encouragement. Your post is a great reminder that there’s always an opportunity to respond with love.

  • Roselyn
    May 14, 2014

    Great words of wisdom Erika. I believe we form habits and not notice how these feed on our conversations negatively. From a personal experience, emotions usually because the driving force that causes me or us to speak and use our tongues in an unkind manner. To overcome our tongue and empower it positively, starts by taking control of our emotions. It is important to not allow our emotions get the best or rather worst of us. Psalm 19:14 “Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer.”When we are able to meditate on words and scripture when our emotions gets or is getting the best of us we can control our tongues by allowing the word of God calm us down emotionally through meditation before we speak .I just learned a new coping mechanism from you with what you shared. Saving a scripture which can become a daily remind. Awesome method!!!

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