An Open Letter From 1 Single to A Few Marrieds & A Couple of Singles…

 

 

 

Open Letter

 

An Open Letter From 1 Single to A Few Marrieds & A Couple of Singles…

  • “Girl, your husband is not going to find you if you’re wearing pantyhose…you need to show some leg.”
  • “You need to get out and do more”
  • “You need to go places where a guy can find you”
  • “Don’t you think it’s time that you started looking for and praying for a husband?”
  • “Why aren’t you dating anyone?”
  • “When do you want to get married?”
  • “What kind of man do you like?”

These are some of the comments and questions that I’ve received over the past month regarding dating and marriage. Interesting, right?!?  The first one is my favorite because it’s one of those that makes you stop and go “did that really just happen?”  Ummmm…yeah, it did.

I truly don’t think that people said these things from a bad place but I do believe they came from a place of fear.  Specifically, a fear of time—people look at what’s happening externally and try to find a match internally (spiritually, biologically and emotional).  However, what people (including myself) forget to remember is that God is the author of time therefore, there’s no need for us to rush the process.  God created time therefore He alone knows when the time is right for dating, engagement, and marriage. Our worrying and planning can never change that.

Contrary to popular belief SINGLENESS is not a disease or an illness that you catch. It’s a process that takes time in order to develop, prepare and refine you.  Once the process is complete, you will be complete too.

A few days ago someone asked what seemed to be a million questions about dating and marriage.  When the examination was over so was my patience lol…well almost.  I woke up the next day and that laundry list of questions was still running through my mind so I decided to write the following and it went a little like this:

Dear Married Couples, Lonely Singles & Nosey Singles:

Yes, we’re single but NO we don’t want to hear your comments all of the time. I can’t speak for other singles but I can say the following for myself:

If you’re truly that concerned about my love life, the best thing you can do is send a prayer up to God.  Pray that God will send the right man at the right time.  Pray for my discernment and wisdom. Pray for peace, love and happiness in my future marriage.   Pray for the things you wished you had prayed for before you got married.

If you’re one of the Lonely & Nosey Singles: Get a hobby, find your purpose and discover your calling. If you’re lonely and nosey, you are the LAST person in the world that I’m listening to.

Contrary to popular belief, there are some singles that are having a ball living their dream and walking in their purpose. Though we may desire to be married one day, we also understand that great things simply take time…

Sincerely,

A Happy Single

Open Letter 2

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

=)

5 Comments
  • Christine
    May 9, 2014

    Excellent post! Thanks for sharing. I always tell those who inquire about my singleness to pray for me just as I am praying.

    • ErikaTheEncourager
      May 9, 2014

      Amen to that one sis!!! Thanks so much for reading! I really appreciate that!

  • Anonymous
    May 9, 2014

    Before I became single, it was my desire to make all things perfect and good by continuously working on making my relationship better. When I drew closer to God he helped me understand that it’s ok to be heartbroken and be single because he knows such situations happen in life, though we may not be the cause. That’s why his word tells us in Psalm 147: 3″ He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds”. When I decided to fully give him my broken heart he has and continues to mend it in phenomenal ways I couldn’t have imagined. Our single moments is actually the time we can allow God to use us and appreciate his promises of the great future he has for us. It is also the moment when we can fully adopt and let our hearts fully trust The Lord. It is a time when we can’t help ourselves so we learn to let him help us which is the biggest lesson and gift we can give ourselves. When we allow ourselves trust him during our single life, it helps and paves a solid foundation for our future partners so together both will trust him during the difficult times in marriage. This is because he has already given us a taste of his love and built our trust in him whiles we were single and now we can use the lesson to better our marriage our relationships!!! We need not allow ourselves or society pressure us but rather take control of the pressure and enjoy the fruits and miraculous things God is doing during this stage of our lives! Thank you for such a beautiful message which is so empowering!

  • Roselyn
    May 9, 2014

    Before I became single, it was my desire to make all things perfect and good by continuously working on making my relationship better. When I drew closer to God he helped me understand that it’s ok to be heartbroken and be single because he knows such situations happen in life, though we may not be the cause. That’s why his word tells us in Psalm 147: 3″ He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds”. When I decided to fully give him my broken heart he has and continues to mend it in phenomenal ways I couldn’t have imagined. Our single moments is actually the time we can allow God to use us and appreciate his promises of the great future he has for us. It is also the moment when we can fully adopt and let our hearts fully trust The Lord. It is the time when we can’t help ourselves so we learn to let him help us which is the biggest lesson and gift we can give ourselves. When we allow ourselves trust him during our single life, it helps and paves a solid foundation for our future partners so together both will trust him during the difficult times in marriage. This is because he has already given us a taste of his love and built our trust in him whiles we were single and now we can use the lesson to better our marriage our relationships!!! We need not feel pressured by society or ourselves but rather take control of the pressure by allowing God touch our lives and perform his miracles in our hearts and lives. Thanks for such a beautiful post!

    • ErikaTheEncourager
      May 11, 2014

      I love your post so much Rozzy! My favorite part is this right here “We need not feel pressured by society or ourselves but rather take control of the pressure by allowing God touch our lives and perform his miracles in our hearts and lives.” I like it because it reminds us that even during our lonely moments when we are tempted to text or reach out to a guy/girl to fill that gap, to instead reach out to God. He can do so much more than we could ever do on our own! Thanks for writing this! I really enjoyed reading it! =)

Drop me a line!

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox

Join other followers:

%d bloggers like this: