God is enough for me.
I never thought I’d hear myself say those words, but I caught myself saying them for the first time about 6 weeks ago.
When I was a little girl, I would often hear the church mothers (women of wisdom) at my grandmother’s church say “God is enough for me,” but I was a child so I did not quite understand the meaning of those words. For me, those words were just a familiar phrase. It was not until this year when I set a goal to know God beyond being a familiar acquaintance that those words achieved meaning in my life. You see, 2013 was a wonderful year but it was also a year of planting, pruning and purging. There were many times when my relationship with God felt inconvenient because I could not do what I wanted to do. When I wanted to pursue the desires of my heart, I was reminded of my commitment and I had to choose the desires of God’s heart over my own desires.
As a kid “God is enough for me” had absolutely no effect on me because there was always someone to do things for me. There was always someone to provide for me and care for my needs. As a kid, my parents were enough for me because they were the ones available when I bruised my knee, fell off a bike or failed a test. It was not until my transition into adulthood when life and experiences began to change.
When I became an adult, I moved away from my family and I began to travel. I attended school out-of-state, entered relationships, and made new friends. I experienced a whole new life because for the first time, I was on my own. I was free to make new decisions but I was also responsible for handling the consequences of my decisions. Over time, my choices began to place new demands on my faith, and my parents and friends were no longer available at two o’clock in the morning to solve my problems or wipe away my tears.
Rather than running to others for comfort and support, I had to form a new relationship. I had to learn to trust a new person so much, to make Him my first choice to comfort my pain, fears and tears. I had to learn to rely on Him for my joy and peace, and be confident that He would never abandon me. Lessons like these could not be learned until I made a conscious decision to pursue God in all things, and these are things I learned in 2013.
In learning to pursue God and place Him above all things, I learned what the women of my grandmother’s church knew about God. When everything around me seemed to be falling, I learned that God’s promises were all I needed to keep moving ahead (1 Cor. 1:20). I learned that God is enough for me.
Today, I can truly say “God is enough for me” because when I thought I needed more, His supply of love, favor, support, hope and finances were always more than enough to meet my needs. Are there times when I still desire more?–absolutely! I’m human, so I always want more. However, God has matured me (and He is still maturing me) to be content with what He gives and when He gives it to me. While I still have many desires in my heart, His peace has enabled me to say “hey God, I really want to accomplish these one or two goals but if they don’t come to pass, it’s okay because you are enough. Or, if I don’t meet the man of my dreams, it’s okay because I’m okay with fulfilling your dreams for me.”
Having the faith to make confessions like these is not always easy but life is much more peaceful knowing what I have is enough. When we are okay with God being enough, He is able to increase us and use what we have to stretch further and last longer. He’s able to use our singleness to bless others, use our finances to make our dreams come true, and use our peace to give others joy.
Being able to say “God is enough for me” is just the beginning of my journey in my walk of faith. While I am SURE, there will be many more times when my desires seek to outrun God’s plans, I am thankful that on the days when God says “no, not now or not yet,” I will be able to say “it’s okay God…you are enough for me.”
Happy Saturday! =)