When I woke up this morning the words “Still Standing” were on my mind. I don’t know why but they just were. At the end of 2012, I began dating someone who I thought was my “dream guy.” Everything about him seemed to be more than I could’ve ever imagined and I was excited about our future together. Throughout the course of our relationship, he encouraged me to begin participating in a weekly Prayer Call. He knew how much I valued my relationship with God and thought the Prayer Calls would be a great addition to my faith. I decided to try the Call one day and after a few weeks, I was hooked! They were so encouraging and they provided that extra boost to be triumphant throughout the work week.
Time went on and things between the guy and I eventually veered off path. The relationship was in shambles and I no longer knew the person I had fallen for. The joy of the relationship was gone and things eventually ended. When the relationship came to a close, it was quite a shock because he left without a goodbye or an explanation. I thought to myself “is this really happening to me right now?” I wondered how the person I loved could do such a hurtful thing. I was hurt and confused. A week had passed since our final conversation. It was Tuesday morning and it was time to dial-in for the Prayer Call, only this time I couldn’t do it. Every time I thought about that Call, I thought about him too and it was just too much to endure emotionally. I needed time to process what I was experiencing and I needed time to heal. In order to accomplish these things, I decided to take a break from the Prayer Call and wait until I had peace and healing.
Three months had passed since the relationship ended, and I had finally regained the strength that I seemed to have lost. I could finally handle hearing someone ask about him without shedding a tear. I could finally accept that things ended the way God needed them to end. I reminded myself that regardless of what happened, no breakup could interrupt the plans that God has for my life (Jer. 29:11; Rev. 3:7-8). I was strong and my confidence was bouncing back day-by-day.
When I went to bed last night, I set my alarm for 5AM so that I could go to the gym this morning. However, if it went off I don’t recall hearing it because I woke up to a different alarm at 6:58AM–the Prayer Call alarm. That alarm hadn’t gone off in months. I thought to myself “how did that happen?” As I fought to ease out of my groggy slumber, something inside prompted me to dial-in. I barely remembered the number so I logged onto the Pastor’s Twitter account to retrieve the number. I hurriedly scrolled down my feed and read “last call of the year taking place today. This is one you don’t want to miss.” The memories of the breakup began to come to mind and I wondered if this was something I should do. “Uggghhh…do I really want to do this?” I continued to feel that small nudge in my spirit, so I picked up the phone and dialed-in. I figured “I may be scared but I don’t want to miss whatever this nudge is.”
When I joined the call the Pastor’s first words were “I want to talk to you today about CLOSURE.” Wow, did he really just say that? I felt my face grow warm as my tear ducts prepared to cry. God knew exactly what my heart needed to hear. I had been delayed purposely so that I could receive my closure. As the pastor continued to speak, he reminded the callers that despite the trials of 2013, we made it. He reminded us that God carried us and the words “STILL STANDING” came to mind.
Suddenly, I realized that nothing that took place in 2013 was a surprise to God. He knew what was going to happen and when it was going to happen, and because of His great, deep love for me…He equipped me to handle it. He equipped me with the strength to stand when others tried to pull me down. He supplied me with the grace not to be carried away in the storm’s wind. As I reflected on the year, I realized that though the events of 2013 were often a surprise to me, His great grace allowed me to look back at everything and say “STILL STANDING.”
When the call ended, I was so thankful. I did not think twice about missing my morning workout. The only thing that mattered in that moment, was the way God turned every bad thing around and caused those things to work out (Romans 8:28).
Today, I am thankful that I can say…I am still standing.
“Blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have made the Lord their hope and confidence. They are like trees planted along a riverbank, with roots that reach deep into the water.” (Jeremiah 17:7-8)
Be blessed & Happy Tuesday! You are STILL STANDING! =)